Guns Akimbo

GUNS AKIMBO

Writer & Director - Jason Howden

2019, Germany-New Zealand-United Kingdom

Stars – Daniel Radcliffe, Samara Weaving, Ned Dennehy

 

It starts with a nihilistic introduction by villain Riktor (Ned Dennehy) that sounds like it’s criticising audiences always wanting violent entertainment and all else is a kind of virtue signalling. Indeed, it’s protagonist is a vegetarian pacifist, but he’ll soon see the shortcomings of his better aspirations when his hands are fixed with guns – turned into literal handguns – and put into a kill-or-kill-be-killed online game. But in fact, the film is totally attuned to Riktor’s credo. It’s “mindless fun” and so will sneer off any criticism. The other retort seems to be Samera Sarah strolling in and shooting people and places up to ska (is the fact that she seems to carry an invisible arsenal with her at all times a gaming gag?).

 

And then almost immediately after the villain’s introductory narration, we get the protagonist voiceover explaining that this was the day that changed everything, so that’s already two mayor strikes down for me and we’re not even five minutes in. There is a surfeit of bad writing. But, you see, Jason Howden’s previous film ‘Deathgasm’ wasn’t only braindead fun: it was rude and crude, scatalogical and frequently very funny, but simultaneously skewering and celebrating its Heavy Metal culture. Its juvenile nature was totally appropriate to its protagonist and doctrine. ‘Guns Akimbo’ doesn’t pull off or justify the same trick, although it tries to have its cake and eat it in other ways too: taking a swipe at cowardly “keyboard warriors” (“Think you’re man enough?!”) but also making them the eventual kickass hero.

 

Daniel Radcliffe has become a fairly reliable brand to follow, for he seems inclined to more intriguing projects and always visibly committed, however they turn out; and as Miles he certainly grounds ‘Gun Akimbo’ with a nerdy clumsiness and relatability (although those unaware of his wider catalogue might just see no further than Harry Potter Swears!). But we are meant to be cheering on an online troll here. Ned Dennehy is tattooed and villainous, but there’s almost the sense that he’s not fully into it, that there are moments where his innate actor almost surfaces (anyway, he’ll never be as repugnant and as scary to me as he was as Paudi in ‘Calm With Horses’).

 

Samara Sarah has doesn’t have to do anything more than walk in an shoot shit up to another blast of trendy song, a horny boy's vision of a bad girl. Oh, she's damaged too!! It's almost unintentionally funny when the story tries to grant her some earnest humanity and backstory (she has PTSD with fire! … but wait, wouldn’t that make her a less effective killing machine in this context? How the hell did she survive which such a weakness?). But it’s all pose and no trousers. It’s of the attention-deficit school of directing, where you’re never 10 seconds away from a camera tilt, superfluous jump-cut or song. It’s also greatly inspired by gaming culture and excessive fight scenes, but it has none of the style of ‘Hardcore Henry’ (which was equally braindead but audacious and convinced me more) or even the ability to pace things out or make you feel the excess like ‘John Wick’. For me, it’s Miles’ encounter with an alley homeless guy that is the funniest and most memorable encounter, where Rhys Darby as said hobo doesn’t feel chained and restrained by a perfunctory and often lazy script (let’s note the realism of a gunshot’s volume first thing and then forget about it from thereon; we own the police, but we only really see one crooked cop).

 

From the start, ‘Gun Akimbo’ feels like someone trying to ape the better action films he loves, but not nailing it – edgy lawless premise; still frames to name characters; cartoon palette and ultraviolence; random camera tricks and effects that mean nothing; and lots of obvious songs. Lots. Because it desperately grabs the songs, hoping for cool. But in the end, if you get anything from this may depend upon whether you accept a hammer fight played out MC Hammer as funny or edgy. Too confused to be genuine satire.